Product assembly 101

So, I was wondering. Should we lobby for new, more stringent, packaging labels on products requiring assembly at home? The reason I ask is that yesterday the boys talked me into buying an amazingly reduced price, high quality, PE device! Yep, we bought a "ping pong table". OK, so I wasn't such a hard sell, after all, did I mention that it was a great deal?! Well, we brought it home and the boys were my defense attorneys in the court of Dad. They definitely stuck up for me and created several ingenious rebuttals to Charles' questioning as to why there was anything to unload from the suburban, after all, we were just supposed to go to the library and then pick up cream on the way home! He was wondering if it's ever safe to let me leave the house with two boys in tow! Anyway, after Charles and I narrowly missed divorce court over how to get it down the stairs to the basement, and we opened the very large box, we took stock of all the pieces and parts and the tools they send to do the job. All told, we were supposed to place about 120 screws in dense, un-drilled fiberboard with a miniature screwdriver. After reading some of the instructions Charles casually said "Why don't you go get the drill (meaning the big battery powered Craftsman hammer drill) while I get the rest of this laid out." What he really meant was, "there's no way in this world that I'm putting all these screws in by hand, so go get something with power and I'd really rather not have you meddle with the stuff in the box, so I'm staying here." So, I went and got the drill, Charles laid pieces out, I argued that things didnt' make sense going that way, he showed me the diagram and concluded that he was right, and I put in the screws (I always run the drill - he doesn't get to because it drives me nuts). We went through that process several more times with the only change being that I got to be right the rest of the time when things didn't make sense! Did I mention that the pieces we were provided didn't match the descriptions, pictures or instructions that we were given? Yeah... that helps! So, after what seemed like at least a hundred times that the boys asked "is it done yet? Can we come down yet?" we finally got it to the point of flipping it over and adjusting the last pieces. Now, have I told you yet just how low the ceiling in the basement is? Well, in case I haven't, it's low. So, we needed to get ingenious to get this honkin table flipped over and onto its casters, and of course we did it my way! Then after it was all finished (and the boys had gotten a bowl of cereal to tide them over because they were sure they would starve before we could finish and I could get dinner) Charles and I played a very short game of table tennis, and I lost! I believe I'll be playing with Mikael and Charles can play with Nathanael. It's a little more evenly matched that way! Anyway, this silly ping pong table took 2 compitent adults over 2 hours, and remember, that was using power equipment! I can't imagine how long it would have taken if we'd done it all by hand! I'm also wondering just what state my marriage would have been in! So, I would offer a suggestion to all the labelling departments out there in the production industry... please label products accordingly.
"CAUTION: Ability rating = Mature. May cause marrital discord. Requires 2 adults 1-2 business days to assemble. Please have fully equiped shop in order to bypass all of our labor saving devices included in package."

Well, even though it was a pain in my knees (I had to crawl all around on the underside of the table placing those 120 screws) I know that it was worth every painful part of it. Nathanael is growing more adept at table tennis every moment, getting ready to give his dad a real challenge soon enough. Mikael just likes to "keep it going" and is more my speed. He loves it when I shriek when I miss the table, and then we all laugh hilariously at me! The boys play together some, though they don't have to, since either side folds up and locks in place so they can practice on their own. I don't think Charles and I will spend a ton of time down in the basement playing table tennis. After all, he's better than I am and I just haven't ever acquired an ability to lose gracefully! It's just healthier for us to not play games at which I constantly fail to win.

So, if you were to come visit, you now have the option of playing table tennis in the basement with the low ceiling. You can play to win or just play, as we have both types of players here!